Thursday, March 08, 2012

Divine Endorsement

Mitt’s bandwagon is picking up the likes of Eric Cantor and Sen. Tom Coburn, but the contest is on for the Big One.

After Romney acolytes tell a news conference it would now “take an act of God” for any other candidate to win the Republican nomination, Rick Santorum is taking up the challenge.

“What won’t they resort to, to try to bully their way through this race?” he says. “If the governor thinks he’s now ordained by God to win, then let’s just have it out...I like my chances.”

Such a divine duel conjures up candidates back to back on a stormy field one morning, walking away from each other to see who gets struck by lightning and rises up, or not.

In this bizarre year, what else? Franklin Graham and Pat Robertson could serve as seconds to ensure evangelical voters there are no concealed lightning rods or other tent-show gimmickry.

Timing could be tricky, as a massive solar storm threatens Earth this week, but sometime around St. Patrick’s Day or the NCAA Final Four might be symbolically suitable.

Only the participation of the Deity is in question. I recall a friend some years ago who was running himself ragged with his ministerial duties waking one morning with the flu and trying to drag himself out of bed.

“Then I had a vision,” he said, “God hovering above me, wringing his hands and moaning, ‘How will I get through the day without him.’ I dropped back on the pillow and went back to sleep.”

It might help Romney and Santorum to visualize such hand-wringing and lower their sights to each other and such lesser entities as Ron Paul and Newt Gingrich.

Besides, who knows? The Man Upstairs may like Obama.

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